Blog, Left Field


Warning, this article is intended for 18 and up readers. (I talk about poop and silly body parts).


It has been a few days, two and a half to be exact, since I last had a cigarette. My body should be nearly free of nicotine and excess carbon monoxide, and for the most part I feel the same. It’s reassuring to know my world has not crumbled under the weight of not smoking. But there have been some hiccups…

I had my last cigarette before bed on Sunday, curious as to what I might be in for on Monday. The fear of the withdrawal monster digging in his claws was very real, and he was very close.
Turns out he’s more of an adorable kitten. I didn’t give temptation credence and so far we’re good.

The reaction after losing your temper for a smoker is to smoke. Sad? Angry? Frustrated? Happy? A cigarette solves and or compliments all of theses feelings and more.

I was working on a particularly frustrating drawing of knot-work surrounded by lettering, the most annoying and artistically boring design I’ve been stuck with in along time, and I finished the drawing, made it look great and moved on to the next piece for the day. Normally I would have taken at least two smoke breaks during the course of this picture. It didn’t even cross my mind to have one.

I’ve been a fan of running for a while now and decided to control the cravings with some sweat, wind and pavement. I was hoping to run around 3 miles maybe 4… I ran 8.45 miles. So, clearly someone is over compensating.

The only other part of quitting smoking that I’ve encountered so far is the change to some of your more basic functions. As in, my poo schedule has changed. I would wake up, drink a pint of water, go outside for a smoke and then be ready to conduct my daily business. Like clockwork. Now, I just go whenever, no real guess as to when, just as my body decides to. I’m fine with it, but I enjoy predictability.

Some theories on the deuce change up are:

1. You eat more.

And that translates to a slowed or modified schedule, especially if you’re eating junk food which a lot of quitters gravitate to for comfort. Nope, not me. I have not changed a single thing in my diet.

2. Nicotine is a stimulant and that can trigger a bowel movement.

This one sounds better than the first, it doesn’t rely on assuming all people pig out on crap food when emotional.

3. It’s in your head.

This idea comes from someone who doesn’t eat a runners diet and not go for two days. Do you know how many calories it takes to be very physically active? To fuel a long run and weight training? On my off days I eat at least 2600 calories and around 3000-3600 on long run days, weight training days are around 2900-3200 calories. These are grains, veggies and meat.

I like going daily. It makes me feel good. I’m not going to poo myself on a long run, that’s crazy right? Not really, there was a suspicious gas emission at mile four and I quickly came to terms with living the rest of my life as the guy who ran through Pebble Beach carrying a pant load of shame behind him and down his legs. Fortunately I’m still a big boy who can say he hasn’t had any accidents. As of this morning I seem to be working normally without the help of nicotine. Good.

I’ve been stressed out about not smoking, I can’t pinpoint if it’s physical and or mental. It would seem to say its a little bit of both. I don’t feel crazy and angry as portrayed in sitcoms, but I definitely feel heightened moments of want and sensitivity. Speaking of which want and sensitivity…

Cigarette smoking causes circulatory restrictions, as in: it effects your peep. I’ve never noticed a lack of awesomeness downtown, but if smoking has been restricting any natural blood flow then I’m curious to see how truly epic nature has blessed me. Seriously any improvement would be like giving a billionaire more money, but hey, I’m not gonna turn down being even richer in the pantaloons.

So, if all the poop and erection talk didn’t scare you off, check in next week when I explore the social side of quitting and also how to not strangle every person who asks you even the most simple question.

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Renee Loomis
Renee Loomis

Ha! Loved this! Btw, within 6-8wks all your bodily function will return to normal. All the functions you had while under the influence of nicotine were actually abnormal. This is the only part of being "normal" that's pretty cool. Keep it up!